25 of the Best Golf Quotes

Sometimes we need a little inspiration, a good laugh, or to remember that some of our favorite golfers are just like us. Here’s some of the best we’ve heard over the years…
 
1. Three over today: One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.
~ Baseball Hall of Famer George Brett
 
2. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula and I took a 7 to do that.
~ Sports Writer Jim Murray
 

Bad Lies

 
3. The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play a bad lie.
~ Baseball Hall of Famer Mickey Mantle
 
4. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.
~ Actor Kevin Costner
 
5. I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par.
~ PGA Golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez
 
6. After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
~ PGA Golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez
 




7. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
~ Tom Weiskopf
 
8. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered .
~ Lord Robertson
 

All I Need

9. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny
 
10. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
~ Ben Hogan
 




11. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you’re the best.
~ Jack Nicklaus
 
12. The Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
~ Billy Graham
 
13. If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
~ Bob Hope
 
14. While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake in a sand trap.
~ Henny Youngman
 
15. If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
~ Jack Lemmon
 

Easy Days

16. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husband’s work.
~ Lee Trevino
 
17. Ninety percent of putts that are short, don’t go in.
~ Yogi Berra
 
18. Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears.
~ Bobby Jones
 
19.I smile at obstacles. They give me a chance to show that the impossible shot is on fact…possible.
~ Tiger Woods
 
20. Golf tips are like Aspirin: One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle you’ll be lucky to survive.
~ Harvey Penick
 




21. I never learned anything from a match that I won. It when I lost, that I became as better golfer
~ Bobby Jones
 
22. To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.
~ P.G. Wodehouse
 
23. Of all the hazards, fear is the worst.
~ Sam Snead
 
24. Knowing that, win or lose, you will walk off the course with pride. Head up my man, always taking the high road.
~ Jason Rhodehamel
 
25. Keep your sense of humor. There’s enough stress in the rest of your life not to let bad shots ruin a game you’re supposed to enjoy.
~ Lee Travino