8 Reasons You Shouldn’t Golf with Your Wife
Golf is a sport best played with others. It can give you a chance to get to know your playing partner better, share in your victories, and maybe even learn a trick or two. However, there is one playing partner we recommend thinking twice about inviting out for your next tee time – your wife.
Now don’t get me wrong, spending quality time together is important and having a mutual hobby can really strengthen your connection. But, unless you met your wife while golfing, it can be hard to get her to understand what makes you love the sport so much. We know you might be thinking that 18-holes will be a great way for her to get on board or at least let you have your weekly Saturday morning tee time, and perhaps you are right. Before you book your twosome, check out our reasons why it might not be the best idea…
8) She Doesn’t ‘Get’ Golf
Let’s be real… golf is expensive. Between $50-$100 tee times and the thousands you spend on your Titleist sticks, Pro V1’s, cabaretta golf gloves, etc., your wife likely sees your golf hobby excessive and unnecessary. I know, crazy right? Not to mention the fact that you stumble in the door on Sunday afternoon reeking of booze and pass out on the couch for 3 hours. When you aren’t sleeping off those 8 beers, you are spending your day half in and out of sleep pretending you are actually watching what she considers the most boring and pointless sport…ever.
7) It’s Your Chance to Unwind
Between the 50-hour work week at the office, Timmy’s after-school soccer practice, and Suzie’s Saturday morning ballet lessons you need a break. That little slice of time you carve out to break up the monotony of the week. We know you love your wife, but everybody needs some space every once in a while. Score some brownie points by sending her on a spa day and tell her she deserves a break after all her hard work. If she wonders why you insist on golfing EVERY weekend, explain that the time away gives you a chance to reflect on how lucky you are to have such a supportive wife. You’re really doing this for her…
6) Time with the Boys
There’s nothing quite like a couple of friendly rounds with your best buds. Your shared love for the game aside, you get to really let loose and be yourself. Your wife doesn’t want to see you shotgunning beers on the 6th hole like some 40-year-old frat guy. You can be raunchy, rowdy, and pretend that even one of you could score the cart girl’s number if you really tried.
5) She Takes Too Long to Get Ready
It is a regular occurrence for you to roll out of bed, half hungover with 30 minutes until tee time and still somehow manage to drag your ass into the golf shop just in time for check-in. Your wife on the other hand has a little more sense of pride in her appearance. It doesn’t matter if it’s a trip to the grocery store or a walk to the park, she always has to go through multiple outfit changes and get her hair just right before she steps foot outside the house.
4) She Will See Your True Colors
Some days, getting frustrated is the name of the game. We have all had those days. You just 4-putted your third hole in a row and lost that entire sleeve of new balls. It is enough to drive anyone mad. If your wife sees you throw your brand new SIM2 into the creek, she will see you for the immature man-child you are. While she may not admit it, a tiny ounce of respect has been lost. Do yourself a favor and save your dignity…
3) She Sucks at Golf
Again, we know how much you love your wife. She has so many amazing qualities, unfortunately, being good at golf is not one of them. You know what it is like to have a newbie in your group. Chasing down every one of their shots, listening to them talk in your backswing, and taking 3 hours just to get through the front nine. Your wife is not someone you can tell to hurry the hell up because you’re ready for drinks on the 19th hole unless you have a death wish. When she is determined to finish out the hole and is on her fifth putt, you’ll be wishing you’d left her at home.
2) Even Worse…She is Better Than You
Imagine taking your wife to share in your favorite pastime, finally giving in to her requests to join you for a Saturday outing. Knowing your wife will think you are amazing no matter what, you brush off your bogeys on the first two holes and pretend you didn’t just slice your brand-new Pro V1 into the creek. Good thing you’re working out the kinks before your boys’ weekend next month. Meanwhile, your wife has been sinking putts and chipping out of the bunker like a pro. On the way home, she excitedly tells you how she’s surprised how easy golf is and offers a few tips for you to improve your game. Oh, and she wants to join you every week so she can get even better. This one stings…bad.
1) The Cart Girls
They are usually gorgeous and bring you as much alcohol as you can throw back. When they come around, you suck in your gut and do your best to stripe one down the fairway like Bryson. Your wife will notice, and she is NOT a fan. It doesn’t matter how often you remind her how hot she is. It won’t matter how hard to strain your eyes to avoid eye contact with the cart girl. You can’t win here, and you WILL hear about it every time she goes by.