Top 10 Funniest Lines You’ve Heard on the Golf Course

Top 10 Funniest Lines
Top 10 Funniest Lines

Golf is made of one-line sayings and quotes that most sports don’t provide. It seems like every round, there is something you hear on the course that you just don’t hear anywhere else.

Here are some funny golf lines that we all know way too well…

10. “I’ll wait for the green to clear.”

Said your buddy… Then seven minutes later, it’s your buddies time to shine. Instead of pouncing on a 3 wood and giving himself an eagle putt, he dead tops the golf ball and gets as angry as Sergio Garcia.

Hate to see it, but it happens to the best of us.

9. “Still your shot.”

Whether you top a shot or hit an awful putt, there isn’t much worse than having to play two shots in a row without losing your turn.

8. “Give me a cart, not a caddie. The cart doesn’t judge.”

Caddies seem like the coolest thing ever for most golfers. They clean your gear, share course knowledge, and make putting so much easier.

But caddies are also humans and as you know, humans judge! Luckily, a cart with a GPS can help you out nearly as much without all the judgment after a chunked wedge or topped driver.

7. “Golf is just knocking a ball in a gopher hole.”

The quote from Robbin Williams’ HBO stand-up comedy is arguably the best way to describe this stupid, yet addictive game we all love.

6. “I’m wet again.”

Stupid water hazards, always taking our golf balls!

5. “Golf is just an adult version of an Easter egg hunt.”

Seriously! Some days when you’re spraying it all over the course, no statement is more true when you have to hunt your ball. From the rough, sand, trees, and maybe even water, you can celebrate Easter anytime you tee it up.

4. “Pretend you didn’t see that.”

What’s golf without a convenient foot wedge to get your ball back in play. Or picking up a putt you missed and calling it good, right?

3. “That’s like putting whip cream on horse $h!t”

This quote still makes me laugh to this day.

Here’s how it was delivered… I was playing with a buddy one time who was having a heck of a day. No matter what he did, nothing went his way, as I’m sure we all know the feeling way to well.

I’m not sure what he did to piss off the Golf Gods, but it definitely worked. Needless to say, he found the courage to not quit and drain a long birdie putt on 18.

2. “I hate this game so much.”

Seriously, what other sport or activity gives you bipolar disorder on any given day of the week? One day, golf is easy and everything is great. The next day, you can’t play if your life depends on it.

No other sport is this unpredictable! But it’s one of the reasons we love it so much.

1. “Golf is a five-mile walk punctuated with frequent disappointments.”

Nothing ruins a good walk like hitting bad golf shots. But there is always at least one shot to keep you coming back, am I right?

What’s the funniest thing you have heard on the golf course?

Let us know in the comments!

Written by Michael Leonard