How To Play Bad Golf Guaranteed
Golf is unlike any other sport – no matter how good you are, there are days when you can’t score if your life depends on it.
But that’s golf, we accept that the Gods won’t be in our favor some days. But don’t make it harder on yourself by setting yourself up to fail.
Here seven ways to anger the Golf Gods and play bad golf – guaranteed.
1. Wear Loudmouth Outfits
If you want to wear the same attire that John Daly wears, you better have some serious game. When you wear loud outfits, you put a target on your back the second you walk in the clubhouse.
Your buddies will harass you and you will need to drown out the noise all day. That’s okay, as long as you got game.
Plus, when wearing something obnoxious and over the top, it puts you on the Golf God’s radar like a yellow car to a police officer. While I’m all for a little style on the course, make sure your game can match it.
Otherwise, you will just be a guy with an awful outfit, playing bad golf!
2. Use Iron Covers
Nothing angers the Golf Gods like iron covers. They signal to the Universe that you don’t know anything about the game and want to play bad forever.
Ditch the covers and watch your game instantly improve (or at least everyone you play with will like you more).
3. Show Up Hungover
Golf is hard enough if you’re healthy, strong, and feeling 100% on the first tee box. But if you show up late because you were getting a greasy breakfast sandwich to ease your pain, don’t expect to play great.
While I’m all for a good time, just know that hungover golf doesn’t normally lead to setting course records.
4. Play Slow
Slow golf is the worst.
Personally, I think slow golfers should get fined so they don’t become repeat offenders. There is nothing worse than playing behind a group that barely breaks 100 or 90 and takes four plus hours to finish a round.
Playing slow not only angers the Golf Gods, but everyone else on the course. In 99.99% of cases, playing slow doesn’t lead to better scores and instead, leads to overthinking!
5. Talk About All Your Bad Shots
If you want to play bad golf, keep talking about all your bad shots. The bad warm up, the awful first shot, and that 3-footer that lipped out.
Bad attracts more bad!
Not to mention, no one wants to hear you dwell about all your bad shots. Instead, focus on the good ones, as everyone hits bad shots.
6. Check In With Your Wife All Day
Golf requires 100% focus and no distractions to play well.
But if you keep texting and calling your wife all day like she’s your parole officer, you will never play good. Plus, your buddies will judge you, probably film it, and post it on a funny golf Instagram.
7. Wish Bad Upon Your Playing Partners
Finally, don’t upset the Golf Gods by wishing bad upon your playing partners.
Karma seems to happen quicker in golf than in life, so be careful what you wish for. If you hope your buddy hits one out of bounds or misses a 3-footer, chances are some bad shots are coming your way… fast.
Don’t wish for them to play bad, wish for you to play better!
What are some other ways to play bad golf?
Let us know in the comments below!
Written by Michael Leonard